Updated: Oct 19, 2018
Today, #BellLetsTalk brings awareness to those struggling. I'd like to take this opportunity to share some writing.
This last week, I felt numerous times that I needed to write something. But each instance I tried - My thoughts went stagnant and I felt nothing.
Only when my days and mind wrestled time did pieces of light reveal themselves. Just here as fleeting thoughts, reminding me that I am okay. That I am loved.
But too busy to write them down, they were lost. My days continuing to go by with blank pages and a heavy heart.
I'm here to admit now that this isn't unusual. That the strong woman you all see doesn't stand without fight. I often play the quiet type, keeping my head high like I can get above it. I'll help you with yours, make you laugh. All the while you, never knowing that your smile brings ME light. Understand that this is incredibly important to me. And you are ALL, so important to me.
So when I am alone, I have a strong floor below me. And each time I step out onto it, I am caught without question. But Saturday night, after a pause between plans, I fell through the floor. Being made to deal with the weight I carried all week. So I sat there wreathing in my own sorrow with no one here. "Why is no one ever here" I ask myself.
All these years I’ve suppressed my sadness, and I’ve become well-adjusted to a shadowed life in silence. And as excruciating as these lows are, I continue to rise up and shake myself out of this place. Each time I do, I am more inspired to help those whose reach hasn’t been touched yet.
So if you ever find yourself in this place, friends... I am here. I have always been here. And I’m there on the sideline cheering you through every rough day. Because I care that you’re hurting. I care that you feel alone. And it doesn’t matter if we know each other a little, or a lot. I will hold you like I’ve known you forever, and I’ll hide in your heartbeat.
I am here for you.
Today, and as long as I live.